Toolbox

Carl lashing out on Victor:

- I was fucking sure you are not coming back

- I am here

- I fucking can see that

Pause. Tension.

- I couldn't resist seeing your beautiful face.

Everyone is quiet. Moving on.

Morning fuel run.

Put. Your. Fucking four ways on. Approaching stopped truck from behind, trying to over pass.

Ridge, so bad, we often drive on the opposite side, change lanes when 1550 approaches. Jon Kearney Road. D10, has no DEF. Long strip of metal instead of rod for oil stick. Luke shows me how to tighten tracks on D10. Fucking o-ring under metal cap plate.

Wiggles behind Metal Haul 793s - optical illusion. Look like toys. Triple right next to 793, what a contrast. Cones near trucks, parked on road, rule.Window down. I swear air and wind smells like honey.

Ridge back, waves, sea, haul trucks make bumps, they swing up and down easily one meter, up and down, uneven material distribution in box.

Luke points at hoe - they make the big bucks, sixty. Shovel, then supervisors, then hoe, then dozer. Job pays bills, but its repetitive. Spikes of cortisol, then half an hour to kill. Wears you more than actual work.

Fuel bay day

8050, at 11 am

- Good morning there, LJ.

First time driver calls me by my name. Ed, Eddie. Whole truck takes eight min.

I feel deep loneliness. Me, Luke, Jun, Ray hide internal burnout. Tucker plays with Luke, like big bear two with little bear. Luke tells him – I just got approved for mortage, 190. Tells him first. They poke fun at each other, and I feel they are two boys from similar little town, so Luke is homie with Tucker.

Ray pulls over. Their favourite topic , Bri, the grader

- Oh, the ass on that girl

- I hear she is a town ..Luke stops and does not utter the end of the word.

- Yes, she’d fuck anybody. I don’t care as long as she includes me. And LJ.

They stare at me. I very slowly shake my head and walk away

- Look, he is walking away!

In stress, away from women men go crazy. Tiniest things set them off.

Return to camp

Changing coveralls, Ken, Evan:

- My daughter is turning 14 today, fuck

- Congratulations

- I told her this morning

- I remember what I did when I was 14

- Don’t fucking say it, shut up Evan

Evan leaves, I say:

-Mine is 9, to me she is just (I show her newborn size with my hands)

-To me, she is still (shows her height at about 5), now she is (shows height up to chest)

Later, "bus time, hurry the fuck up.

Contrast stings.

Black service truck passes us on Ridge. I think it's Doug. Ken puts out his left arm in the window , shows bull sign with fingers. Dick goes on a tirade how mech school now are full, but back when he started, classes were empty.

On return bus, people exit, by rows, in zig zag, you have to wait for your turn. Luke goes thru on exit, does not let lady to come out. Evan and Ken in the back smile, me too. Evan lets me go:

- Fucking Luke

- Chivalry is not dead

Few days later, two guys spend twenty seconds waving to each other to exit first. Canadian standoff – voice from behind.

Supper

Dustin, billed out to Sunridge as 2nd year apprentice, but don’t get raise, in books still as fuel and lube:

- you’re surprised Greff would do that?

- Its not Greff

- Carl

Evan took taco plate and put his own version

- No guaco, it’s just bread and meat

- You’re shitty Mexican

- He’s Mexicunt

- Metal Haul pays 10 dollars an hour more for fuel lube technican

I glance at Luke . Good to know. I know right

Later before going to bed I go to Metal Haul’s site, but there’s no fuel and lube posting.